


all this time, I have been yours

by minwonmarried



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bestfriends!Wonhui, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied Junhao, Implied Past!Minwon, Implied SeokSoon - Freeform, JihoonSeungkwanHansolChan are just Mentioned, M/M, MinWon - Freeform, Regret, implied jeongcheol, my heart is breaking for Wonwoo in this, seventeen ensemble - Freeform, taglish
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27121297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minwonmarried/pseuds/minwonmarried
Summary: Wonwoo is okay.(He pretends to be).
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Kudos: 6





	all this time, I have been yours

Nakatayo lang sa gilid si Wonwoo, umiinom ng beer mula sa bote nito habang pinagmamasdan ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya. Familiar naman sa kanya ang mga mukha ng mga nandito—kahit papano ay nakahalubilo din nya ang ilan sa kanila dati.

_Dati_. Isang salita pero napakaraming emosyon ang dala.

Hindi na alam ni Wonwoo kung ano mararamdaman niya—if he's going to feel happiness, kasi kahit na dati na 'yong nangyari, napasaya pa din siya sa mga pagkakataong iyon; or sadness kasi sa dulo ng araw, nakalipas na 'yong saya na 'yon.

Napainom siya sa bote ng beer na hawak niya. Isang lagok o dalawa—hindi niya sigurado kung ilan. Basta naramdaman na lang niya yung hagod ng inumin sa lalamunan niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa mga nagsasayawang tao sa likod ng mga salamin niya sa mata. A lot of them are in here, teeanagers, kids, adults and even those na lolo at lola na ang edaran.

Well, napagbubuklod nga naman lahat sa ganito kalaking okasyon.

Tinapik ni Jun ang balikat niya. Napalingon siya dito at saka nagsalita. **"Bakit?"** Sabi ni Wonwoo, nagpalinga-linga pagtapos ay nagtanong ulit. **"Asan si Minghao? Nag-cr?"**

**"Oo, umihi saglit."** Sabi ni Jun, kasalukuyang nakasandal sa cocktail table nilang tatlo. **"Sure ka bang okay ka lang?"**

**"Bakit naman hindi?"** Tanong ni Wonwoo pabalik. **"Saya nga rito, eh. Nandito kayo ni Hao tapos yung mga kabarkada natin nung college. Miss ko na rin sila, maski 'tong lasa ng alak."** Sabi niya pagkatapos ay ibinaling ang tingin sa crowd.

Napabuntong-hininga si Jun, pagkaraa'y nagkibit-balikat. Alam niyang hindi nagsasabi ng totoo si Wonwoo, pero he doesn't give a comment about it. Hindi magandang timing.

Wonwoo wants to dance as well, the event is going smoothly as the night goes deeper. Kung dati ay hindi siya nagdadalawang-isip kung magpaparticipate ba siya sa ganitong komosyon, all of those are different now.

Mula sa dance floor, lumapit papunta sa kanya si Soonyoung at Seokmin na magkahawak ang kamay. Kita niyang pulang-pula na ang mukha ni Seokmin kaya inisip niyang baka aalis na ang mga ito.

Laking gulat ni Wonwoo nang bigla siyang akapin ni Seokmin pagdating nito sa table nila. Natawa siya nang kaunti, assuming that the man younger than him by a year is back to his cute self when drunk, pero hindi. Niyakap siya ni Seokmin nang mas mahigpit, yung tipong halos ayaw niya pakawalan si Wonwoo.

Akala ni Wonwoo matutumba na sila, but he staggered only for a bit. Mas mabigat kasi 'tong si Seokmin sa kanya and Wonwoo can't help but think kung paano 'to nakakayanan ni Soonyoung gayon s'ya 'tong mas magaan at mas maliit.

**"Hyung kooo,"** Seokmin singsongs, na siyang tinawanan naman ni Minghao na dumating na sa table nila. Pumunta ito kaagad sa tabi ni Jun and their action of intertwining both of their hands doesn't go unnoticed. Wonwoo may have a bad vision, but he isn't blind. Natawa din si Wonwoo sa ginagawa ni Seokmin, pero niyakap niya rin ito pabalik habang tinatapik-tapik ang binata sa likod.

**"Seok, ano ba yan? Mukha kang tanga diyan."** Sabi ni Minghao pagkatapos ay inaya si Soonyoung na tumayo katabi nila. **"Bigat-bigat mo eh mukha kang baby-damulag."**

**"Heh!"** Sabi ni Seokmin. **"Palibhasa di mo sobrang love si Wonwoo-hyung. Dyan ka nalang kay Jun-hyung, magsama kayo."**

Natawa silang apat, pagkatapos ay kumalas na mula sa pagkakayakap si Seokmin. **"Soonyoung, ano 'bang ininom nito?"**

**"Ewan ko ba d'yan, ayaw papigil."** Sabi nito, nakakunot ang noo pagkatapos ay kinakamot ang ulo. **"Stressed na stressed na din naman 'yan sa trabaho kaya hinayaan ko nalang. Kaso lahat yata ng inumin, tinry eh."**

**"Sana kayanin mo pa, paka-kulit pa naman niyan pag lasing."** Sabi ni Jun habang kinukuha na ang bote ng beer mula kay Minghao. Pinipigilan din niya itong malasing masyado, kasi kapag nasobrahan ay natutulad na din kay Seokmin ang binata.

Umakbay si Seokmin kay Wonwoo, tapos ngumiti habang nakapikit. **"Naiinis ako, hyung."** Sabi nito, slurring and the spirit of alcohol taking over him. **"Ako yung nasasaktan para sa'yo eh. Bakit ba kasi—"**

**"Seok, babe?"** Sabi ni Soonyoung, inaalalayan si Seokmin at inakbayan ito para makatayo nang maayos. **"Uwi na tayo, okay?"**

**"Eh, 'yaw ko. Samahan ko muna si Wonwoo-hyung koooo."**

**"Uwi na din naman kami maya-maya Seok,"** sabi ni Wonwoo. **"Ubusin lang namin ni Hao 'tong isa pang bote. Pagkatapos uuwi na din kami."**

**"Sure yan hyung, ha? Uwi ka na dapat kaagad."** Sabi ni Seokmin, hinawakan sa balikat si Wonwoo tapos yumuko para magsalita sa mismong mukha ni Wonwoo mismo. **"Promise mo sakin ha, uwi ka na after niyan."**

Natawa si Wonwoo habang sinasagot niya si Seokmin. **"Oo nga, uwi ka na at magpahinga na kayo ni Soonyoung."**

Napayuko nalang si Seokmin, gumawa ng okay sign pagkatapos ay yumakap sa boyfriend nito na si Soonyoung. **"Won, Jun, Hao, uwi na kami ha? Pag tinanong kami nila Cheol-hyung saka nila Hansol pakisabi umuwi na kami."**

**"Umuwi na rin yata sila Hansol eh,"** sabi ni Jun pagkatapos ay tumingin sa paligid, like he's looking for someone. **"Pero sige, uwi na kayo. Malakas na tama ni Seok."**

**"Oo, umalis na din kanina. Yumakap din nang mahigpit sakin yung tatlo bago umalis, kasabay nila si Jihoon."** Sabi ni Wonwoo sa kanila at nilapag ang bote ng beer sa table. **"Ingat ka sa pagda-drive."**

Kahit na nakayakap si Seokmin kay Soonyoung, inilahad pa rin ni Soonyoung ang mga braso niya to give Wonwoo a hug which he gave in without hesitation. Ginulo ni Soonyoung ang buhok ni Wonwoo saglit pagkatapos ay bumulong, **"Huwag ka nang magtagal dito ha."**

**“Opo, opo. Uuwi na din ako maya-maya."**

Ngumiti si Soonyoung sa kanya, not the usual cheeky and goofy smile pero sa ngiti ng binata sa kanya, alam ni Wonwoo na may mas malalim na kahulugan. **"Soonyoung, 'wag ka nang mag-alala. Uwi mo na 'yan si Seok."** Sabi niya habang bahagyang natatawa.

**"Jun, Hao—una na kami!"** Sabi ni Soonyoung at kumaway kila Jun at Minghao.

Natawa nalang silang tatlo habang kumakaway kila Soonyoung na palapit sa pinto palabas. Wonwoo took a sip on his beer at saka bumaling kila Jun. **"Higpit ng yakap ni Seok, hindi pa rin nagbabago."**

**"Totoo,"** sabi ni Hao. **"Kahit na close kami nun 'don sa isa naming ka-edad, ewan gustong-gusto talaga namin na niyayakap ka."**

Sumabat naman bigla si Jun. **"Ako rin eh, saka si Soonyoung. Gustong-gusto namin na niyayakap si Wonwoo kahit na payat na parang matutusok kami ng buto kapag siya kayakap mo. Si Jihoon malamang ganoon din, pero 'di aamin yon."**

Sinamaan siya ng tingin ni Wonwoo nang pabiro, pagkatapos ay uminom ulit ng beer. Dahilan naman ito para matawa sila Jun at Minghao panandlian, pagkatapos ay balik sa mundo nilang dalawa.

Ibinaling na ni Wonwoo ang tingin sa mga taong sumasayaw sa dance floor. Maraming tao ang nandoon pero tanging nakikita niya ay yung hindi niya gustong makita. Ang ginawa nalang niya ay tinungga ang natitirang laman ng bote ng beer sa kamay niya, pagkatapos ay nilapag ito sa lamesa.

**"Hao, Jun,"** pagtatawag niya sa dalawa niyang kasama. **"Mauna na ako sa kotse ha? Sunod nalang ba kayo?"**

**"Oo, hyung."** Sabi ni Hao at tumayo nang diretso. **"Paubos ko na rin naman 'to eh. Lapit lang kami 'don saglit para magpaalam."**

Tumango si Wonwoo. That's all he can do and turned his heel around to walk to the direction of the door. Nakaramdam naman siya ng kamay sa braso niya, tugging him to face the other way.

**"Sigurado ka 'bang hindi ka na magpapa-alam sa kanya?"**

Wonwoo shook his head, **"Hindi na, Jun. Hindi naman na kailangan."** He said with a smile, full of bitterness and agony.

He hears Jun mutter a _"sige, kami nalang"_ but Wonwoo did not reply. He stepped his feet forward and Wonwoo heard the music fading as he steps out of the venue seconds later.

Ang tanging dinig nalang ng tenga niya ay ang mahinang tugtog mula sa loob and the sound of the pebbles and rocks against the sole of his shoes. Medyo hindi na rin diretso ang lakad ni Wonwoo as he makes his way towards his car. Si Jun naman ang magmamaneho, since 'di naman 'to uminom.

He pressed the button on his carkeys para magbukas ang pinto ng kotse niya from a distance. Malapit na siya sa kotse niya nang makarinig ng footsteps palapit sa kanya.

A hand rested on his shoulder. Lumingon siya at nakita si Seungcheol na nakahawak sa balikat niya.

**"Won,"** sabi sa kanya ni Seungcheol, ang pinaka-kuya ng barkada. **"Uwi ka na ba? Sino kasabay mo?"**

**"Oo hyung, sila Jun kasabay ko."** Sabi niya sabay ngiti, the alcohol buzzing on his nerves. Tatlong bote lang naman ng beer yon, pero tinamaan talaga si Wonwoo kasi matagal tagal na rin since alcohol dampened his throat.

And in this event, Wonwoo thinks that the universe allows him to drink to his heart's content. Tila nga pinupursigi pa siya ng tadhana na uminom pa.

Kung pwede lang idaan sa inom yung sakit, Wonwoo might have done that years ago.

Napatango naman si Seungcheol. Napalingon silang dalawa sa likod nila and Wonwoo is expecting to see Minghao and Jun, pero si Jeonghan at Jisoo, na may hawak na helmet, ang nakita niya.

**"Hyung,"** he began. **"Uwi na din kayo?"** Tanong niya with a bright smile yet he knows his eyes are jaded—almost lifeless.

**"Oo Won,"** sagot ni Jisoo. **"Unlike most of you guys, hindi ako nakapag-leave for a week. Lagot pa naman ako pag na-late ako bukas."** Sabi nito as he fished out the keys to his motorbike which is parked on the opposite side of Wonwoo's car, saka binuksan ang compartment to get his gloves.

**"Workaholic ka lang,"** sabi ni Jeonghan which led for Wonwoo, Jisoo and Seungcheol to laugh. Tumayo si Jeonghan sa tabi ni Seungcheol while Jisoo opted to stand on Wonwoo's side. **"Sa sobrang pagka-adik mo sa trabaho nakalimutan mo na birthday ko."**

**"Nagtatampo ka pa rin?"** Sabi ni Jisoo na natawa nang kaunti because of Jeonghan's whining. Wonwoo looked at his three hyungs—all successful and role models to Wonwoo. Jisoo has been promoted to a higher position in the company he's working at, samantalang ang pub naman ni Seungcheol ay maganda ang takbo habang si Jeonghan naman ay kaka-graduate lang ng kanyang masteral degree.

He witnessed how Seungcheol's hands ghosted around Jeonghan's, pagkatapos ay hinawakan ito nang mahigpit. Niyakap naman ni Jisoo si Jeonghan na nagkukunwaring nagtatampo sabay sabi ng sorry. They all look happy.

Wonwoo sighed mentally. _Sana all._

After the two eldest parted from the hug, Jeonghan spoke all of a sudden. **"Hoy Jeon Wonwoo, ikaw umuwi ka na ha. Tapos diretso pahinga, baka mamaya uminom ka pa ulit."**

Wonwoo widened his eyes. **"Hala, manghuhula ka na yata."** Sabi niya, exaggerating the tone of surprise in his voice. Nanlisik naman ang mga mata ni Jeonghan. **"De, biro lang. Uuwi naman ako saka di na iinom. Baka di makatulog sila Jun sa bahay kapag uminom pa ko."**

**"Buti naman, akala ko mag-aalaga kami ni Hao ng lasing buong magdamag hanggang bukas eh."** Sabi ni Jun na ikinagulat naman nilang apat kasi bigla-bigla nalang itong sumusulpot. Kasama niya din si Minghao na mapula na rin ang pisngi, tipsy daw at hindi pa siya lasing.

Habang naguusap sila Jisoo, Jeonghan, Jun at Minghao, bumaling naman ang atensyon ni Seungcheol sa kanya. The older placed a hand on his shoulder once more, then squeezed it while asking, **"Won, you sure you're okay?"**

**"Hoy!"** Sabi ni Jisoo at Jeonghan ng sabay saka palo sa braso ni Seungcheol. Magkabilang braso ang nahampas ng dalawa, resulting for Seungcheol to wince while hugging himself.

**"Hay nako talaga Choi Seungcheol, kahit kailan ka talaga."** Jisoo said, shaking his head from how his friend acted.

**"Sinabihan ko na 'yan kanina na huwag eh. Pinilit pa din."** Sabi ni Jeonghan while giving his boyfriend a pointed look. **"Pasensya na Won,"** he said while laughing a bit, obviously dismissing the gloomy atmosphere. **"Lasing na yata yan."**

**"Hoy, hindi ah."** Seungcheol said, standing upright and defending himself. **"Gusto ko lang malaman kung okay lang si Wonwoo."**

**"Hay nak—"**

**"Hyung,"** sabi ni Wonwoo, an endearing smile plastered on his face, reassuring all of them that it’s okay—he''s okay, or at least he pretends to be. **"I'm fine. There's no need for you to worry."**

Tiningnan siya ng tatlong nakakatanda sa kanya. Worry is written all over their faces, tila hindi pa rin convinced. Its like they're asking Wonwoo something but they couldn't care less of what Wonwoo's answer would be. Para bang kahit anong lumabas sa bibig ni Wonwoo, alam na nila ang sagot.

**"Okay, we trust you."** Jisoo blurted afterwards. The two hummed in agreement.

**"Oh, siya!"** Sabi ni Seungcheol. **"We're gonna get going. Gabi na masyado, gusto na magpahinga ni Jeonghan."**

**"Sure hyung,"** sabi ni Jun, pagkaraa'y yumakap kay Jeonghan at Seungcheol. Nang si Jisoo na ang yayakapin niya, nagkunwaring hindi yayakap si Jun which earned a protest from the older.

**"Hoy, bakit di ako kasali?"**

**"Wag ka na, inggit ako sa motorbike mo e."** Sabi ni Jun, pagkatapos ay tinuro ang motor ni Jisoo. He pouted while Jisoo looked at him, and after few beats they both laughed at the same time.

**"Hay nako, hyung."** Minghao interrupted. **"Huwag kang maniwala dyan, he's saving up to buy a motorbike. Yung regalo nga sakin nung birthday ko eh ka-cheapan!"** Minghao retorted.

They laughed at that, even Jun. **"Baobei, para namang hindi ako bumawi sa'yo the night after?"** He said, giving his boyfriend a knowing look.

Kung may ipupula pa si Minghao, akala ni Wonwoo ay wala na. But the pink cheeks the younger has on his face turned red, damay maski leeg.

**"Alright, we don't have to know that."** Jeonghan said, then bid goodbye to Wonwoo as he hugged him. So as Seungcheol and Jisoo.

They bid their goodbyes and went inside their cars respectively. Wonwoo went on the backseat, letting Minghao and Jun occupy the front. Nang makaupo, he heard Jisoo beeped on his motorbike and drove away. Nakita niya rin si Seungcheol na kumaway mula sa driver's seat ng kotse niya. And now they're the only one left.

**"Hyung, would you mind kung magpatugtog ako?"** Minghao asked as he's buckling his seatbelt. Wonwoo replied with a silent 'go on, it's okay'.

As Jun maneuvered his way towards the exit, the speakers of Wonwoo's car blared out a song familiar to Wonwoo's ears. Ito yung pinapakinggan ng barkada nila nung college, and he would be lying if he says that he doesn't feel any nostalgia as Ben and Ben's rendition of Maybe the Night echoes inside of the vehicle.

They're all singing along to the song, pati sa mga susunod pang mga kanta. Minghao's obviously drunk dahil kumakanta ito kahit mali-mali ang tono maski lyrics, and all Jun does is to laugh at how cute his boyfriend is. Natatawa din siya dahil bigay na bigay si Wonwoo sa pagkanta sa backseat.

Minghao's taste in music aged like a fine wine, at halos sa lahat na pinapatugtog nito ngayon, walang hindi gusto si Wonwoo. The playlist is full of Ben and Ben, December Avenue, OPM songs that takes Wonwoo back to college. Lahat 'yon halos alam niya.

Not until the song that played as he lowered the windows on the back.

**"Hao,"** he asked, voice hoarse and calm. **"Anong title ng kantang 'yan?"**

**"Ah,"** Minghao looked at the screen of his device and read the title out loud. **"Oks Lang, by John Roa? Yeah, that's it."**

**"Oh, thanks."** Wonwoo said as he slumped on his seat, staring at the blurred images of the shops, houses and other things their car pass by.

Tila nagsi-sink in lahat ng salita ng kanta sa utak ni Wonwoo. He just hoped na sana 'di nalang niya alam ang pinaparating nung kanta. He just listened, resting his elbow on the open window as he continued staring at nowhere.

Nang sandaling iyon, andaming pumapasok sa utak ni Wonwoo. He feels numb, siguro nasanay na siya na puro sakit nalang. After all these years, siya naman kasi ang may kasalanan. But going to the event earlier, it is a slow torture. Pakiramdam niya unti-unti siyang nawawalan ng saysay sa mundo, na parang nilulubog siya sa lungkot—nilulunod sa kirot. Pero anong magagawa ni Wonwoo, gusto niyang andon siya.

He just wants to see him _one last time_.

Pinikit niya ang mga mata niya. Walang luha, walang hikbi—basta pinikit niya lang. He heaved a long sigh, na parang sa lalim nung buntong-hininga ay hinihiling nalang niya na mawala na yung sakit. Pero the world doesn't work like that.

Jun and Minghao exchanged knowing looks at each other after glancing at Wonwoo by the rearview mirror. Mabuti nalang at nandoon na sila sa entrance ng subdivision where Wonwoo's house is.

Wonwoo stayed like that as Junhui drove the streets of the subdivision. Hanggang makarating sa tapat ng bahay pati na sa parking, Wonwoo still has his eyes closed.

**"Wonwoo-hyung, we're here."**

That was Wonwoo's cue to snap out of it. Binuksan niya ang mga mata niya and grabbed his phone beside him. Sabay silang tatlo na lumabas ng kotse. Jun turned the engine off, locked the car as Minghao checked if all windows are closed and the doors are completely locked. Pagkaraa'y inihagis ni Jun papunta sa direksyon niya ang susi ng kotse. Ibinulsa niya iyon pagkatapos ay inilabas ang susi ng bahay niya.

He turned the doorknob clockwise and opened the doors of his house. Inaya niya sila Jun papasok as the two turned the lights on.

Wonwoo kicked off his shoes and put it in the shoe rack. Kinuha niya yung pambahay niyang tsinelas and gave Jun and Minghao theirs. **"Jun, Hao, mauna muna ako sa banyo ha?"**

The two hummed in unison.

He went to his room to get his change of clothes pagkatapos ay dumiretso sa banyo.

As the warm water ran down his head then his body, Wonwoo feels exhaustion deep inside from his bones. Pakiramdam niya andaming energy ang nawala sa kanya kahit na wala naman siyang ginawa. Napahawak siya sa pader ng shower at napayuko, letting the water do its job as it cleans him.

He kind of hoped that all the pain would also go down the drain. Pakiramdam niya bibigay na siya, malapit na malapit na.

✨

Nang makapunta na siya sa kwarto niya, ready for his slumber and the door slightly ajar, he suddenly received a text.

**From:** Mingyu ♡ **  
Hyung, bakit di ka lumapit man lang sakin kanina bago kayo umuwi? Tampo na ko nyan.**

Wonwoo couldn't believe it. Mingyu is texting him and asking him kung bakit di niya ito hinarap. He doesn't know what to answer.

After all these years mahina pa rin siya kay Mingyu. At dahil tanga siya, he typed on his phone to reply.

**To:** Mingyu ♡ **  
Sorry, Mingyu. Masyado na rin kasi akong nakainom saka I thought gusto nang umuwi nila Jun. Sor**

He was about to press the send button but he failed to do so. Napalingon siya nang narinig niyang bumukas ang pinto. Jun is about to enter his room, wearing his pajamas and a white loose t-shirt. He has a towel on his shoulder, probably to use to dty his hair.

**"Won,"** panimula nito. **"Matutulog ka na ba?"** Sabi nito saka umupo sa gilid ng kama ni Wonwoo.

Nabitawan ni Wonwoo yung cellphone niya at bumagsak iyon sa kama **. "Oo, patulog na din. Medyo nawala na rin tama ko kanina nung nagshower ako."**

**"Ah,"** Jun hummed. **"Sino yang ka-text mo?"**

Few beats of silence dominated the room. Hindi alam ni Wonwoo ang isasagot, baka magalit si Jun kasi baka akalain nito na may kung ano man siyang gagawin o sasabihin kay Mingyu. He just stood there, toying the hem of his silk pajamas and avoiding Junhui's gaze.

**"Si Mingyu yan no?"** Jun asked—or confirms. Para siyang sila Jeonghan kanina, nageexpect ng sagot kahit alam naman na nila kung ano 'yun.

He nodded, and the next thing he heard is Jun sighing. **"Sige na, replyan mo na. Malaki naman tiwala ko sa'yo."**

**"Wow,"** sabi ni Wonwoo and strided across the room to put on his glasses na kanina niya pang gustong dalhin. Minghao convinced him to wear lenses kanina, at dahil mapilit ito, Wonwoo has no choice but to follow. **"Sa'yo talaga galing 'yan?"**

Natawa nalang silang dalawa. **"Ano ba sadya mo dito?"** Wonwoo asked.

**"Remember what I texted you about bago ako dumating galing China?"** Jun asked. It took Wonwoo a few seconds to reminisce.

**"Ah, yung pictures nung college?"** He said, facing Jun which is in the opposite side of the room. **"Kukunin mo na ba? I have those that are developed already tapos I also have those na nasa film pa. I forgot your request eh, masyadong busy sa trabaho."**

**"Di ka naman busy, nilulunod mo lang ang sarili mo sa trabaho."** Jun deadpanned, wala nang naisagot doon si Wonwoo. **"Asan ba? Films and pictures? Hayaan ko na si Hao magdevelop nung iba, kaya naman niya 'yon."**

He is facing the mirror and opening the container of moisturizer nang sinagot niya si Jun. **"Diyan, sa bedside table. Nasa pinakababang drawer. Makikita mo naman agad 'yon."**

**"Alright."**

He lathers his face with the product and massaging the areas he needed to work on. Sa kabilang banda naman, Jun is rummaging through the drawer at kinukuha ang pakay niya. He put the photographs on the bed tapos kinuha ang film cartridges nang may mapansing green wooden box sa corner nung drawer.

Out of curiosity, he opened the box mentioned. What's inside made him confused and worried.

Puno iyon ng pictures ni Wonwoo, Mingyu at silang dalawa lang at different locations and setting. Meron pang isang film carridge doon na hindi alam ni Jun kung ano ang laman pero _sigurado siyang hindi iyon film lang._

**"Won, bakit nandito pa pictures ni Gyu? Sabi mo tinapon mo na?"**

Napabalikwas naman si Wonwoo patungo sa kung nasaan si Jun. Nang makarating sa pwesto nito ay hinampas niya sa balikat ang kaibigan. **"I thought mga pictures lang natin nung college ang kailangan mo? Why did you even open this?"** Sabi niya kay Jun who's still sitting on the side of his bed.

**"Won, tapatin mo nga ako."** Sabi ni Jun. **"Are you sure you're—"**

**"Jun, pwede ba?"** He said and laughed sarcastically afterwards. Kukunin niya yung kahon sana mula kay Junhui pero inilayo naman agad ito nito. **"Akin na nga, ganda ng mga kuha ko dyan e. Patunay yan na may talent din ako sa photography."**

**"Won, dapat tinapon mo na to eh."** Sabi ni Jun, heaving out an exasperated sigh. **"Sinasabi ko 'to sayo di dahil sa kinokontra kita, pero Wonwoo gustong gusto na kitang sumaya."**

**"Thank you sa pagaalala sakin, pero happiness isn't a thing found overnight."** Sabi niya sabay kuha ng kahon mula sa kamay ni Jun. **"Magiging okay din ako, Jun—"**

Napatigil siya sa pagsasalita nang dumulas sa kamay niya ang kahon, making the contents of the box scatter on the tiled floor of his room.

And that moment, para siyang nagtravel through a time machine. _Bumalik lahat ng ala-ala._

Yung unang picture na kinunan niyang pasimple si Mingyu, pati na rin yung picture nilang dalawa kung saan nakatitig si Mingyu sa kanya. The photo strips they took nung unang date nila sa arcade, and the polaroid photos Mingyu gave him nung birthday niya. Lahat ng pictures naroon, from the Christmas celebration ni Wonwoo kila Mingyu pati na yung pagme-media noche ni Mingyu kila Wonwoo.

Nandon rin yung photo ni Wonwoo nung graduation niya which Mingyu took. Nandoon rin yung picture ni Mingyu na kinuhanan din ni Wonwoo when the latter graduated. The pictures shows a timeline of events pati na yung random moments that Wonwoo treasured. Their half-drunk pictures sa kama taken after a steaming night where they showed each other's most beautiful form, pati na ang random pictures whenever they had a chance to take one.

These are not only photos, Wonwoo thought all of a sudden. These photographs hold his memories—happiness and sadness combined. The journey on how _this_ became _that_ is showed by the series of the photographs on the floor.

He crouched down, collecting the pictures in his hand as Jun watches him do so. Alam niyang nagaalala pa rin si Jun sa kanya, pati na rin yung mga kaibigan nilang kasama nila kanina—but he doesn't want them to worry. That's why he has to put this facade na kaya niya, na malakas siya at okay lang siya.

_Fake it until you make it_ , ika nga.

As he puts the picture on the box, natanaw niya ang empty film canister na gumulong ng kaunti sa ilalim ng kama. He sighed as he reached down under his bed between Jun's feet, pagkatapos ay inabot ang pakay niyang kunin sa ilalim.

**"Ano 'yan?"** Jun asks.

Wonwoo definitely heard him, but he can't find his voice nor the courage to answer his best friend.

Nabuksan pala yung cartridge, probably nung pagbagsak nito sa tiles ang dahilan why the cap became loose. Nilahad ni Wonwoo ang palad niyang may hawak nung cartridge, at tuluyan na ngang nakita ni Wonwoo ang laman nito na pilit niyang binabaon sa limot.

What was inside the empty film cartridge is a _ring_.  
 ** _Wonwoo's engagement ring_**.

The ring that Mingyu gave to him when the younger went down on one knee, told him how much he loves him and told him how much he wanted Wonwoo to be the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Ang singsing na nasa palad niya ang parehas na singsing na binigay ni Mingyu when the younger asked to marry him.

Napaupo na nang tuluyan si Wonwoo sa sahig, losing the grip he has on the pictures on his other hand. He held the ring tightly with his two hands, saka nilapit iyon sa dibdib niya habang napayuko ng kaunti.

The memories are vivid; how Mingyu looked tense that one morning, how the latter ate less kahit na favorite nito ang mga nakahain sa harap nila noon sa restaurant malapit sa beach. How Mingyu looked stunning that evening nung niyaya niya si Wonwoo na maglakad sa tabing-dagat.

He clearly recalls that time nung nagulat siyang may tumutugtog ng gitara bigla-bigla habang naglalakad sila. Natatandaan din niya on how surprised he was when he saw his friends approaching them from different directions, paper lanterns in hand as they sung _'Ikaw at Ako'_.

Kita niya kung gaano kalawak ang ngiti ng mga kaibigan niya noon, how Jun smiled at him while holding Minghao's hand, kung paano niya nakitang maluha-luha ang mga mata ni Soonyoung as Seokmin's arm is draped on his shoulders and how he saw Jihoon smiles at him as he wiped away a tear that ran down his cheeks. Naaalala niya kung gaano niya pinipigilan ang tawa nang makitang bigay-todo sa pagkanta sila Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Seungkwan, Hansol at Chan habang naggigitara si Jisoo.

He remembers all of it like it was just yesterday, how he saw Mingyu knelt down on one knee. Tandang-tanda niya kung paano siya umiyak habang nakikinig kay Mingyu noon on how he wanted to be with him for the rest of his life.

Tandang-tanda niya kung paano siya tumango at um-oo sa tanong ni Mingyu, how the latter slid the ring on his finger. He remembers how he was hugged and lifted from the sand, pati kung paano siya hinalikan sa labi ni Mingyu while their friends cheered for them.

He remembers how he wished for happiness with Mingyu as they let go of the lanterns by the beach. Hiniling niya noon na sana hanggang dulo, _sila_.

He remembers all of it like the back of his hand. 

It’s some kind of a mixture of pain and sadness, a feeling that Wonwoo cannot put into words.

He was supposed to be happy as he recalls the memory, pero bakit parang kabaligtaran ang nararamdaman niya?

A flashback of how they fell apart flashed through his eyes. Kung paano nagpatong-patong ang maliliit na away nila into something bigger, kung paano sila nagsisigawan on their shared condo unit. Kung paano sila nawalan ng time para sa isa't isa, at kung paano naging malamig ang mga gabi kahit na magkatabi sila sa higaan.

Wonwoo recalled the memories on how Mingyu asked him that they should end their relationship. Hindi na raw sila nagkakasundo, and the flame that keeps their relationship going is slowly dying until all what's left are embers.

Natatandaan din ni Wonwoo kung paano siya lumaban just to win Mingyu back. Pero their relationship cannot be saved with only one of them fighting. In the end, si Wonwoo nalang ang lumalaban.

_Si Wonwoo nalang ang nagmamahal_.  
Bakit? **Kasi pagod na si Mingyu.**

**"Won?"** Junhui asked, wary of Wonwoo's current state. **"Tayo ka na dyan, malamig yung tiles."** Sabi nito pagkaraa'y yumuko para matingnan sana ang mukha ni Wonwoo.

He noticed a shadow standing by the doorway, si Minghao. Kanina pa yata naroon ang binata, pero hindi lang siya nakita ni Wonwoo.

Hinawakan ni Jun ang magkabilang braso ni Wonwoo, inalog-alog siya nang kaunti nito and began speaking, **"Won?"**

Unti-unting tumingin sa binata si Wonwoo. With his eyes brimming with tears, his chin wobbling and his nose getting a light shade of crimson, Wonwoo spoke in broken voice;

**"Jun,"** Wonwoo said, followed by a sob. His features fall upon his realizations. **"Jun."**

Nilapitan siya ni Jun, hugging his upper body while he cries. He tried to stop his tears from falling, pero grabe na yung sakit na nararamdan niya at pagod na siya sa pagpapanggap na okay lang siya—at hindi na si Mingyu ang mahal niya.

Kasi kahit pagkatapos ng ilang taon, si Mingyu pa din.   
Si Mingyu pa din ang tinitibok ng puso niya.

He cries on Junhui's chest, nakaramdam din siya ng isa pang yakap mula sa likod niya from Minghao. **"Jun, huli na 'ko. Sobrang huli na."** He said in between sobs.

An hour or so passed and Wonwoo still cries. He feels Minghao rubbing soothing circles in his back as the younger hugs him, while Jun pats his head and carresses his hair at times as he cries on his best friend's chest. Hinayaan lang nila si Wonwoo na iiyak lahat, until no more tears flowed down his cheeks and his chest doesn't feel as tight anymore.

They stayed like that until Wonwoo's sobs get quieter, and in the end Jun and Minghao insisted to join him in his slumber. He tried to protest for them not to pero if you were to argue against Minghao and Junhui, you have no chance of winning.

So with the lights turned dim, and all you can hear is the buzzing sound coming from the aircon, they lied down on the bed. Pinagigitnaan siya ng dalawa on his bed, which is big enough for the three of them.

Naunang makatulog ang dalawa sa magkabilang gilid niya, with Jun's arm on his waist so as Minghao's. His eyelids are tired and heavy for all the crying he did and because they are open since dawn.

Pero bago pa siya matulog, he opened his phone and finished typing his reply.

**To:** Mingyu ♡ **  
Sorry, Mingyu. Masyado na rin kasi akong nakainom saka I thought gusto nang umuwi nila Jun. Sorry.**

He pressed send, kaso parang may kulang. So, he typed something on his phone again.

**To:** Mingyu ♡ **  
Congratulations on your wedding. I hope you’re always happy.**

**Author's Note:**

> Basta ang una kong balak dito, short twitter fic lang. IDK why this went to 5k+ words askjfgshgfusrg comment your thoughts about this hehehe
> 
> Anyways, stream ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB4FzllQCyc


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